Getting Clear on What You Want
“Whatcha, whatcha, whatcha want?” -Beastie Boys
How well have you defined what you want out of your career and your life?
When I ask my coaching clients this question, most answer confidently that they are clear.
Then the obvious follow-up question hits: “So what do you want?”
And when they try to articulate what it is they want, most find that it is a struggle to get it out in a clear way.
What seems like an easy question to answer on the surface, turns out to be pretty difficult in practice.
Why is that?
I’ve seen two primary reasons that people are unclear about their hopes and dreams. And both reasons center around fear.
First off, if you know deep down what it is you want out of life, it is difficult to tell another person this information. You begin to filter out your true desires and try to put the best spin on it. It is natural to not want judgment from others. You don’t want to seem selfish. Yet talking about your innermost hopes and dreams is selfish- and it’s okay! Selfishness is not always bad.
The second way fear shows up when talking about dreams and goals is in the fear of disappointment. Some can’t stand the thought of disappointing others if they don’t achieve the audacious goal they set. But most often, it is the fear of disappointing yourself. It feels safe to avoid big goals — and dangerous to say them out loud. I believe this is the biggest one that keeps people from achieving the life they want.
Are you letting fear keep you from achieving your biggest goals?
Take a few minutes today to write out what it is you want.
Don’t put limitations on yourself — give yourself permission to dream.
And when fear creeps up, keep writing. Combat the fear by being 100% honest with yourself.
Then you’ll know just how clear you are.